just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
