he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
