You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
