She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
