oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
