whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
