but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
