I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
