It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
