And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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