just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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