No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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