At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think your dad took our porno
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
