Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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