I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
