I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
