So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
