My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
