But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
