That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
