good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
