I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
