on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
