I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
