Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
