so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
