So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
