i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
