All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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