Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
third nipple confirmed
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
