it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
