that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
