He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
