I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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