For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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