I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
