my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
