I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
