I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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