If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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