This is not my ceiling
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
