dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
