HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
