just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
