my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
