I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
