Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
