I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
