how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
