That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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