I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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