I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
