I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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