I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
